Thursday, March 17, 2011

A Conversation with Mama Fierce on the Eve of St. Patrick's Day



Act I, Scene I
Scene: C Fierce's car // Mama Fierce's kitchen

MAMA FIERCE: Hi honey. Did you fill out your bracket yet? Your dad is logging me in right now.
C FIERCE:
I'm heading home from work, I'm making Irish Car Bomb Cupcakes for the office tomorrow.
MAMA FIERCE:
Oh I LOVE car bombs!
C FIERCE:
You do? Do you even know what a car bomb is?
MAMA FIERCE:
Of course I do. It's that drink, what is it, a train station. A sidecar! I love those!
C FIERCE:
No, those are not the same thing - and besides, a train station isn't even a drink. You made that up.
MAMA FIERCE:
It has car in it, it's the same thing.
C FIERCE:
No, it isn't. A car bomb has Guinness in it --
MAMA FIERCE:
Oh that's that beer I don't like, the gross one, right?
C FIERCE:
-- Yes, you hate Guinness -- and then you put a shot of Jameson in it --
MAMA FIERCE:
That's whiskey? Oh my. This is not like a train station at all.
C FIERCE:
-- It's not a train station, it's a sidecar, and anyway, you have the Guinness, and the Jameson, and then you fill up a shot glass with Bailey's and --
MAMA FIERCE:
OH I like Bailey's, that is delicious! Only one out of three, this isn't going well for me, is it.
C FIERCE:
No, it isn't. So you have the Guinness, the Jameson, the Bailey's, and then you have to drink it before it curdles --
MAMA FIERCE:
Oh that's disgusting.
C FIERCE:
Well yes, you have about 12 seconds before it curdles so you drink two shots and a beer in that amount of time.
MAMA FIERCE:
Who thinks of these things? HONEY -- [offstage] -- have you heard of this thing called an IRISH CAR BOMB? Do you know what GOES INTO ONE OF THESE THINGS?
C FIERCE:
[pause] [pause] [pause]
MAMA FIERCE:
Your father says "an Irish car bomb is a beer, with a whiskey, plus an apertif." Is that right?
C FIERCE:
Well, he's on the right track, yes.
MAMA FIERCE:
I don't know where you learned all this drinking from, certainly not at my elbow!
C FIERCE:
I have no idea, but I'm not drinking them tonight, I'm making cupcakes with those ingredients.
MAMA FIERCE:
Well that's a relief. I'm having a nice glass of white wine, a pinot grigio, from the Wall Street Journal Wine Club.
C FIERCE:
That sounds nice.
MAMA FIERCE:
Did you drink all that champagne I got you for Christmas already?
C FIERCE:
It's March, of course I did.
MAMA FIERCE:
Well that's good. Bethanne asked me if I'd had prosecco the other day and I told her of course I knew what that was. I don't know where you learn these things.
C FIERCE:
Mom I have to go now, I am recording this conversation for posterity.
MAMA FIERCE:
Oh I bet your phone has one of those fancy APPS for that.
C FIERCE:
Enjoy your wine, Mama Fierce.
MAMA FIERCE: And not a train station in sight!

* * * En fin. * * *

Here are some other green things to eat.  Look! Green things to eat on St Patty's Day! These are naturally green, to boot, and not a pint of beer with green food coloring in it. Weird.

Spinach mascarpone dip
Pistachios and apricots
More pistachios: pistachio praline bars
Even more: pistachio tart cherry ice cream
Spinach round two: spinach salad

Happy St Patty's Day to all our readers. Are you doing anything special today? Other than making up imaginary cocktails? What goes in a train station, anyway?

Monday, March 14, 2011

C Fierce is BACK. And She Brought Lemon Squares.

So. Some sheeeeeeeeeeeet happened in my life. It sucked, now it's good, and I'm back. And I have lemon squares. Meyer Lemon Squares to be precise. I went on a lemon square binge about two months ago. I found the best recipe of all time, but of course it's Cook's Illustrated, takes nineteen hours, and gives you the best lemon squares you have ever put in your mouth.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Shrimp and Grits

Have I mentioned I live in the South?

Sometimes, I forget this fact. My little town finds itself to be just cosmopolitan and democratic enough that there are times it slips my mind.

There are other times, however, when it is blatantly clear.